Grab the Cheetos

After the inevitable, I decided not to date for a while, a long while actually. I thought it best to discover the new me before finding the new him. Many moons later and a lot of push from friends, I took the reluctant leap to espy love. My search for the one uncovered so much more…

I quickly realized dating is rarely the boy next door or the surprisingly single best friend of your bestie’s significant other. Dating sucks! How many licks to the center of a tootsie roll, kind of suck! Who doesnt want to get to the ooey gooey core of a new relationship without breaking through the hard, sometimes not so candy, shell of a potentially under-socialized photoshopped stranger!?!

As difficult as it may be, we must accept that the diaper wearing Greek cherub has lost his universal bandwidth. Cupid has undoubtedly discarded his now rusty bow and arrow to the highest attic shelf and is at this very moment lounging on the couch eating Cheetos and streaming reruns of King of Queens. On rare occasions assuredly during commercial breaks you may see a glimpse of him hanging ten.

His semi-retirement has yet to unplug the unswervable romantics of this world. The true believers conjure their new everlasting-love seemingly from thin air. Nevertheless, rendezvous only require a bit of cyberspace and cloud coverage. Add just a click or two and you find yourself in control of discovering the one who may start your engine…. or not. The information super highway provides an inexhaustible number of hotspots for whatever passionate tryst you have imagined.

Simply swipe left or right for a Tinder moment. Be careful not to fall in if you go fishing. You may catch something other than Plenty of Fish on that site. There is a chance for something organic if you don’t outgrow the Farmer. And let’s admit there is no need to guess what type of wild characters you will encounter on a site calling itself ZOOsks. If you are willing to pay the piper your solo could become a duet on eHarmony. Yet truth be told, finding a perfect Match in this internet dating era is limitless. Exploits to find the one requires a simple wi-fi connection and a lot of awkward moments.

Opting out is always an option. Sometimes a cold reboot is a necessity to clear your head of all the tangles the web will weave. Taking a break to catch up on some light reading may help. Perusing the stories of others whether auspicious or catastrophic will help defrag a bit while putting intentions into perspective.

Please be careful reading between the lines… I am not suggesting online dating is all bad. There are folks just like us trying to locate guys and girls just like you and me. Consider the opportunity as you would learning to surf. Don’t be a Barney. Take it slow. Learn to paddle publicly before facing a big kahuna or you could find yourself with a man in a grey suit.

Time to jump in the deep end. Now take a deep breath, grab the Cheetos and your tablet, curl up and prepare to ride the wave on the sea of love. Hawaiian shirt and hula skirt not required.

This post is just the prelude into some of my gnarly escapades. In a few future posts, I will share some of my more disastrous encounters. Now that they are over, I find them quite memorable. The ‘oh my goodness did that just happen’ moments that will be told with a bit of laughter and may even garner a few ‘ews’ and ‘ahs.’

As with all my posts, I look forward to hearing from you. Feel free to share your online dating encounters. The Cheetos are almost gone!

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